Special Edition: Telegram from Heaven!

Greetings everyone!

That Rainbow Bridge is SPECTACULAR! They should open something like that in Vegas. It's like the Bellagio for God! Anyway, I'm sorry it's taken so long to write but it took me a while to get here, which started to worry me a little bit if you catch my drift. But no worries. I made it. And let me tell you IT IS SWANK! We sleep on these big white clouds and the views from up here are heavenly! We watch plasma TVs with the Earth network so we can watch you guys!

We have a Learning Channel which is kind of boring but very informative. You learn why you had to go through everything you did. The People Planet is our favorite channel. Some lady "Sonia" helps us figure out why our owners acted the way they did. I'm not sure she's for real, but she's pretty good. We drive little electric cars we can all get into. Cell reception is incredible. We get all the bones we want and real sausage instead of snausage. Our backs don't ache anymore because we use our wings. Now the halos take a little getting used to, I keep hitting my head on God's coffee table.

Anyway, the first day up here I was at the club with all the guys and we got to talking. Let me tell you. Most of these old geezers did not get the kind of life I got at the end. In fact I can't believe how horrible human beings can be down there. Nothing like that exists up here. I guess that's why they call it Heaven.

So after telling the guys my story, we all agreed Mom would be the perfect person to take in Senior Bassets with Special Needs. I didn't want to overwhelm her at first with the idea so I thought I better work on finding a replacement for me before she completely loses it. One that looks like me anyway. I remembered my old friend Wilson Pickett in Alabama. He looks like me...close enough anyway. (He's a better dancer) .

So the other night I woke her up and did the whole white light thing so she would believe it and assured her I was absolutely fine, that I loved her with all my heart, I'm happy and free, having the time of my life, and for her to go get Wilson Pickett.

So get this. She goes on the Internet and picks a girl that looks just like me in Tahoe named Chelsea. Oh well, I didn't tell Wilson. I figured this could be just the sort of start the whole rescue plan needed. Hearing my voice in her head (I made it sound haunting) she went back online and finally found Wilson! He's coming cross country on truck "in the midnight hour" to be with her. Thank God. (We say that a lot up here).

So now she's got two of us coming to live with her and she's starting to figure out what's going on. She's thinking ‘I'm going to have to find a place with a huge flat yard'. The guys and I thought of everything we would want in a place and found her a villa on 4 acres with a huge green lawn, a stream, a trail, and lots of bedrooms to set up bunks with ramps. It's awesome! And there you have it! All the guys like us will now get the chance to go to:

Via Escondido The Last Resort!

Here's what we've got planned. Remember Boogie? She's going to run the place. She wants to call it Casa Boogie but we're still negotiating. Remember Hufflepuff? She's going to work there one day a week teaching self defense and keeping everyone in line. And how about that Dr. Dean? He's the best. Mom will take all the dogs to him one day a week for the full spa treatment. Baths, pedicures, meds, and maintenance. And remember Kim from Coldwell Banker? She's going to be the cook. She'll make that great meatloaf and her famous chile. And remember Viki, Sparky's mom? She's going to rescue any snakes on the property before Mom sees them. Hector, Mom's workman is going to live there full time and be the caretaker, and keep out the coyotes. It's everything we ever dreamed of! And it is all happening as we speak.

Beagles and Buddies and Beautiful People
There's a special group up here that came from the same place I did: Beagles and Buddies. I say special because these are all guys and gals like me that NOBODY would have ever taken in. But because Connie and Lauren have hearts much bigger than most on Earth, God, who we all know is a dog (he just spells it backwards to confuse stupid humans) has a private club for B&B members.

I'll talk to you very soon from up here (the computers are great here, they never crash or lock, the modem speed is phenomenal, and the Heavenet doesn't have any ‘pop ups'). We'll keep you posted on the move to the new Villa and helping seniors Bassets with special needs. In the meantime we may be reached through Beagles and Buddies or you may dial 411 and ask for Heaven.

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